Why Does Everything Feel Harder When You're Tired?
Have you ever noticed how much harder everything feels when you're tired?
The small annoyance feels bigger.
The decision you could normally make easily feels overwhelming.
You have less patience.
Less motivation.
And that bag of chips in the cupboard suddenly seems much more interesting than it did at 2:00 in the afternoon.
I think we sometimes underestimate just how much depletion changes us.
When we're well rested and have some capacity left, we have more room to pause, think, make decisions and tolerate discomfort.
When we're exhausted?
We naturally gravitate toward what's easy, familiar and comforting.
I notice this in myself, too.
At the end of a full day, especially one where I've spent a lot of time listening, supporting other people, thinking or creating...there comes a point when I simply don't have the same bandwidth I had that morning.
I'm much less interested in making another decision.
And I'm definitely less interested in doing something because it's supposedly "good for me."
I want easy.
I want comfortable.
I want something that asks very little of me.
And sometimes, that's food.
There's nothing particularly surprising about that.
Our brains aren't machines that operate exactly the same way from morning until bedtime.
We get depleted.
And when we do, our ability to pause before an automatic behaviour becomes smaller too.
Yet this is often the exact moment when we expect ourselves to demonstrate more discipline.
"I shouldn't be eating this."
"I was so good all day."
"Why can't I just say no?"
But maybe the question isn't:
"Why don't I have more willpower?"
Maybe it's:
"Why am I expecting so much from myself when I have so little left?"
That's a very different conversation.
It doesn't mean that every time we're tired we have to eat.
And it doesn't mean there's nothing we can change.
It means that instead of judging the behaviour, we can look at the conditions surrounding it.
Maybe we need more sleep.
Maybe we need fewer decisions at the end of the day.
Maybe dinner needs to be easier.
Maybe we need a transition between work and evening.
Maybe we need something pleasurable to look forward to that isn't another thing on the to-do list.
Or maybe tonight really is a night for popcorn and an early bedtime.
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A Gentle Reflection
If you notice yourself struggling with an old habit this week, especially later in the day, pause before criticizing yourself.
Ask: "How depleted am I right now?"
And then: "What would make the next hour a little easier?"
Not healthier.
Not more productive.
Not better.
Easier.
Perhaps that's the gentle shift.
Instead of demanding your best from yourself when you're running on empty, you begin learning how to recognize empty...and respond with care.
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If sleep itself has been part of the struggle, I created my Rest & Reset Sleep hypnosis kit for those nights when your mind and body have trouble switching off.
It includes a longer Drift Into Sleep recording as well as a shorter Back to Sleep Reset for those middle-of-the-night wake-ups. [Learn more about Rest & Reset Sleep →]
Until next time, remember that sometimes the kindest thing you can do is not to try harder, but to acknowledge that you're tired.
Warmly, Shelley