What If Trying Harder Isn’t the Answer?

If you've struggled with food for a long time, you've probably become very good at trying.

Trying to eat "perfectly."

Trying to ignore cravings.

Trying to be more disciplined.

Trying to start over every Monday.

Most of the women I work with aren't lacking effort.

If anything, they're exhausted from carrying the weight of constantly trying to do better.

And yet, despite all that effort, the patterns often remain.

I've come to believe that this isn't because people aren't trying hard enough.

Sometimes it's because they're trying to solve the problem in a way that keeps their nervous system under even more pressure.

Think about what happens when we approach ourselves with constant criticism:

• "I should know better."

• "I've ruined today."

• "I need to get back on track."

Although those thoughts may feel motivating, they often create more stress. And when we're stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally depleted, our brains naturally look for relief.

For many people, food has simply become one of the quickest ways to find it.

What if the next step isn't trying harder?

What if it's becoming a little more curious?

A little more compassionate?

A little more willing to ask, "What do I need right now?" instead of, "What's wrong with me?"

That doesn't mean giving up or lowering your standards.

It means recognizing that lasting change is more likely to grow from understanding than from self-criticism.

Sometimes the smallest shift isn't changing what you eat.

It's changing how you speak to yourself while you're learning.

A Gentle Reflection

Notice...this week, pay attention to one moment when you catch yourself trying harder.

Pause for just a moment and ask yourself:

"What would support me right now?"

You don't have to change anything immediately.

Simply noticing is a powerful place to begin.

Until next time, I hope you find one small moment this week to meet yourself with a little more curiosity and a little less criticism.